QUESTIONS & ANSWERS

What are the advantages of marrying a Ukrainian lady?

What about the disadvantages? Isn't the language barrier a problem?

What about testing the waters? Is it possible to invite a lady to the United States to see what it's like to live together on a daily basis?

What's the best way to get started with the whole process?

How to write a good letter to her?

How to ensure she will definitely receive my letter?

How to phone your lady?

What presents are appropriate?
 

Why are the ladies from Ukraine interested in marrying Westerners? Are they just looking for a "free ticket" out of the country?

There are several reasons Russian and Ukrainian women would like to marry Americans, Canadians, Englishmen, etc. First, they see men from these countries as making much better husbands than men in their own countries. For example, it's a well-documented fact that Ukrainian men die ten years earlier than their American counterparts, due to three major factors, 1) alcoholism, 2) violent crime, and 3) suicide. It's only natural for Ukrainian women, who generally marry men significantly older than they are, to want their husbands to live as long as possible. In addition, Americans and other Westerners are perceived as more sensitive and caring than the men in their own countries. Whether this is true or not is debatable-their impressions are based largely on what they've seen in films and on television-but it is nevertheless a perception that many of them hold. It's certainly true that feminism has affected countries of former Soviet Union much less that it has Western countries. 
The second reason that these women are interested in Western husbands is because of poor economic conditions in their homeland. Though most of them do not live in abject poverty, they lack many of the modern conveniences that we now take for granted. For example, most live without the aid of dishwashers, microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, electric can openers, or even washing machines and dryers (they wash all their clothes by hand and hang them outside to dry, even in the winter). "American housewives don't have to do anything but push buttons," was the comment one awed Russian lady made after visiting the United States. It is common thing in Ukraine, to go without hot water the entire month of June every year, because all the apartment buildings have centralized boilers (no one has their own hot water heater) and they have to shut down the systems for routine maintenance. The vast majority of these women live in cramped 2 and 3 room apartments with other family members, and very few of these families possess automobiles. To many of them, the life of an average, middle class American or English man is that of a fairy tale. 
Also, many of the people in these countries are highly educated, but due to the poor economy, can do very little with their degrees. It's quite common to see dentists driving taxis, engineers peddling souvenirs, and lawyers working as receptionists. Though most of the women are not career-oriented, they are accustomed to working (under the communist system, both women and men were expected to work full time), and most want to work at least part-time after their children are in school. They see very little opportunity for challenging work in their own countries and feel that they will have a much better chance in America and elsewhere. 
The third reason is political instability. Even the ladies in the tiny upper-class strata of Ukraine have a dim view of their future. Revolutions and military coups are an integral part of their culture, and most of them feel that the new "free market" economies will undergo tremendous upheaval before everything settles down, if ever. Thus, moving to a country with a stable economic and political environment is very attractive to them. 
However, having said all this, it is important to remember that the vast majority of these ladies do not view themselves as "desperate" and would only marry a man with whom they were deeply in love and with whom they believed they had the highest chances of building a happy marriage and family. The citizens in these countries have been living in more or less the same way for centuries, and they do not view themselves as living under tremendous hardship, as a Westerner might. As mentioned previously, the vast majority of these ladies are not living in poverty-they lead comfortable but meager lives. They are proud of their cultures, and they have every right to be. Few of them would uproot themselves from their family and their lifelong friends and move to the other side of the world unless they truly believed that had a chance of lasting happiness.

What are the advantages of marrying a Ukrainian lady?

Many men marry women from Russia and Ukraine because they say that the women are more old fashioned and family-oriented than their Western counterparts. Families in these cultures do seem to be more closely-connected and interdependent that those in the West, probably because they've been forced to be. Unable to depend on an oppressive communist regime, they have only been able to depend on each other. And because both the mother and father traditionally work, it's not uncommon for a Russian girl to begin running the entire household at an age of 12 or 14, taking care of a younger brother or sister, preparing meals, washing clothes, etc. Women mature very quickly in these counties-they have to. 
However, it should be pointed out that ladies from these cultures are far from "submissive" and do not view themselves as such. They simply consider their role as mother and caretaker of the home as a natural part of being a woman, and they expect the husband to have a similar degree of comfort about his role of being the primary breadwinner for the family. Another reason that foreign brides are popular is because many men would like to marry a woman a good deal younger than they are, and the Western cultures are not as receptive to age differentials. In Russia and Ukraine, it is considered perfectly normal for a woman to marry a man 10 or 20 (or more) her senior. 
One final point in favor of marrying a foreigner is inherent in the relationship itself. The differences in culture provide a fertile ground for a rich and varied marriage-many "alumni" report that the non-stop process of learning about each other's cultures and traditions adds a crucial spark to their relationship.

What about the disadvantages? Isn't the language barrier a problem?

Naturally, the cultural differences mentioned above that can add the "spark" can also be a source of friction in a marriage. There can be major differences regarding everything from the marriage ceremony itself to how the children are raised. However, like most problems in life between people, they can be solved if both parties are truly committed to the overall relationship. 
The language barrier can and will be a problem for couples in which at least one of the partners is not fluent in both languages. Generally, foreign brides-to-be learn the language of the country in which they'll be living, because they'll need it not only to communicate with their new husbands, but to survive on a daily basis. This is usually not a problem, because the women who are serious about finding husbands abroad prepare themselves by studying English or German or the language of whatever country they're most interested in residing. And English has been taught to all students in Russian and Eastern European secondary for the past few decades, so just about everyone who needs to speak fluent English has a solid base from which to start.

What about testing the waters? Is it possible to invite a lady to the United States to see what it's like to live together on a daily basis?

Yes. The U.S. Immigration & Naturalization Service offers a special visa, the K-1 Fiancee Visa, which is designed specifically for this purpose. It allows your lady to come to America for a three month "trial period." At the end of this period, you have the option of marrying her; otherwise, she must return to her home country. 
This is not only a convenient way of entering into marriage with a foreigner, but the best way with regard to U.S. immigration laws. If things do not work out between you and your fiancee, you will not be precluded from making a future fiancee visa application, nor will she. And if things do work out and you get married, the visa can be easily converted to a permanent visa (green card). Later, she can apply for citizenship as well.

What's the best way to get started with the whole process?

We recommend the following: 
1a. Look through our PHOTO GALLERY PAGES and write first introductory letter to the 15-30 ladies who interest you most. For guidance with this step, go to Writing Letters. 
OR, 
1b. if you are pressed for time and/or prefer not to write lots of letters, send us your bio, photo up to 50 Kb in jpg format and description of a person you are looking for. When you begin to receive letters, write to a few of the ladies who interest you most. 
(Note: Many men prefer to "burn the candle at both ends" and use a combination of both of these approaches). 
2. Establish a letter-writing relationship and/or telephone relationship and get to know the ladies as much as possible. To help you with this phase, Innella Introduction agency offers you a full range of services. (For detailed information, see OUR SERVICES page). 
3. After a few months of communication, there should be at least 1 or 2 ladies who really interest you. At this point, you can begin making plans to go overseas to visit them. 

How to write a good letter to her?

Corresponding by mail is like anything else; the more experience you have with it, the easier it is. If you're finding it difficult to express yourself in your first letters, you might like to try an uncomplicated, straightforward approach. For example, try beginning with a simple "Hello, my name is so and so" followed by such biographical old reliables as your age, height, weight, occupation and marital status. Next you might throw in something about the city or town you live in, what it's like to live there, what rivers or lakes it's near, what makes it unique and what are its attractions. From there you can move on to your interests and hobbies. Don't be put off if your favorite interests don't conform to theirs. Having different likes can make you more interesting to each other, and finding a carbon copy of yourself is probably not what you're looking for.

Tell her about your life, your goals, your job, your friends, how many people are in your family, what things elevate your soul. Tell them what an average day is like for you. While you're at it, ask them a lot of questions, too, starting with what a day in their life is like for them. If you know what their occupation is, ask them to tell you all about it. Do what you can to be polite and respectful in your letter. Asking her about a negative topic you may have heard about their country could offend them. It's best to stick only to positives until you know the person better. Be as honest about yourself as you can and speak from the heart, but stop short of revealing your past relationships or any skeletons in your closet at this point. The people you'll be introducing yourself to will, with few exceptions, be very serious about marriage and finding a good partner. A "playboy" is not what they are looking for or expect. Take care not to mislead them or make any promises you are not likely to keep. 
You needn't tell them everything about yourself in your first letter; that can wait till later letters as you slowly reveal more and more of yourself and build your relationship. For now, the idea is to introduce yourself in this first letter-probably in no more than five pages and perhaps ideally in two pages. The main thing is to give the person you're writing a clear idea of what sort of person you are and enough information so they'll be able to decide if you appeal to them. (You may also consider asking for their phone #, fax #, or e-mail address.) If you write a polite, good-natured introductory letter, most of those you write will answer you back. If you're starting out by writing to many different people, there is a natural temptation to send off the same typed form letter. This might be a good idea for the first letter since most people learn English from the typed form. Before hand-writing a letter (which is seen as more personable), find out if they know hand-written English. It's also important to write as legibly as you can out of consideration of the person who will be reading your letter. 
Try to avoid the possibility of confusing them by staying away from any use of idioms, slang or colloquial references. Also remember to put the name of your country in your return address; unless a person you're writing to already knows you, they may have no clue what country to send a reply to. 
Consider it standard practice to include a photo of yourself in your first letter -- if not an original, then a color-copied one. Be sure to send only recent photos. To keep your costs down, you might get 10 or 15 different photos of yourself and arrange them on a sheet of paper; then take it down to your local printing store and ask them to run off about 10 color copies of the sheet. This will give you 100 to 150 color-copied photos ready to send off. Plain black-and-white photocopies are not likely to be well received. 
Unless you've led the sort of life where you're used to hitting the jackpot lottery in anything you do, you'll be better off not limiting yourself to writing only one or two people. The more people you write to, the greater are your chances of finding the right person. Putting all your eggs into one basket is even more futile if you end up traveling all the way to a faraway country to visit just one person only to find out that you're completely wrong for each other. Writing to more people will give you a chance to narrow down your choices in the months prior to a trip. Then when the travel day comes, you can have in your hand a list with your 5 or 10 most-preferred people to visit. You may find that the "long-shot" one on the bottom of your list turns out to be the one who's most suited to you. 

How to ensure she will definitely get my letter?

Sometimes a lengthy duration is involved in postal delivery to former Soviet Union countries (Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Estonia, Latvia, Lithuania, Kazakhstan, Kirgyzstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Moldova, Tajikistan, Armenia, and Georgia). The safety (due to unscrupulous Ukrainian postal workers) of your letter is also questioned when using regular postal services. Although you may hear or read about horror stories involving the Ukrainian postal service, we would like to state for the record that it isn't as bad as everyone thinks it is (we send hundreds of letters and receive hundreds of letters each week from the countries mentioned above). You just need to be smart about what you send. Avoid the practice of sending any currency bills to them, not only because it could be embarrassing to them but also because it could be stolen and the letter thrown away. There have been several reported instances of postal clerks burning the midnight oil to open all the Western letters in their possession if only one was found to contain cash. Your best bet when sending just a letter-one without money-is probably to use a thin envelope and very thin paper so that there's no doubt about what's inside. Try not to use any fancy stamps or cute envelopes either - having it metered, and using a plain-Jane envelope is a good idea. Making copies of letters you send can also pay off; then if a letter doesn't arrive, you can send it off again. Also, it's convenient to have a copy so you know exactly what you've sent (and to whom you've sent it) when the answers to your questions come. 

How to phone your lady?

Sometimes you may be thinking that you are corresponding not with a real true live, sweet lady, but with a kind of "virtual" person. One of the best ways to dispel your illusions and prove yourself that she really is sweet and true is simply to call her and hear her real voice. Before phoning, be careful to take into account the time difference (Ukraine is 7 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time). It won't be a pleasant surprise if you call her at 3 a.m. Also find out if she knows English so she could speak and understand you. Some Ukrainian ladies do not speak English fluently and you can use our on-line translation service. Just write us to our e-mail the day and time you are going to call, and we will arrange the talk for you. The country code of Ukraine is +380.

What presents are appropriate?

You can give your sweet lady flowers, toys, cakes and candies. You should give only odd numbers of flowers (1,3,5,7, etc) as even numbers are given only at funerals here.
There are some reasons you can give your lady money for:

1. For English lessons
2. For paperwork
3. For new photos
4. For trip to meet you

If your lady knows English it will be much easier to overcome the language barrier and make you first meeting more pleasant! But English lessons are expensive for the ladies, so it is recommended that you help them learn the language.
You have two options.

· Your lady can study English with our tutors 2 or 4 times a week.
· Or you can give her monetary gift $50 and she will attend any other courses. 

We have two available English Learning Programs (standard or intensive) that were specially designed for women who are going to meet a foreign man soon. We can guarantee that your lady does study English and doesn't waste the money on something else. Obviously, we cannot guarantee anything if you give her cash directly.
If you want to give your lady a present, or provide for her learning English to be able to meet you, contact us.

If you have not found the answer to your question here, send it to us.